Monday, November 13, 2006
What We Want Current mood: thankful Category: Romance and Relationships
If we could all go into relationships knowing what we want I just wonder if there would be less break ups, less divorce and more happiness?
First comes the hard part- figuring out what we want. Like many, I had to take the long, hard road to finally see what I wanted. I entered marriage with a jaded sense of what I wanted, knowing I did not want what I had but choosing to settle for less and blinding myself with the belief that I could "change him" and make him what I needed. Even though it took years of heartache, abuse, tears and pain I am glad that I have that experience- it allowed me to finally figure out what I want and what I absolutely DO NOT want.
I will admit that marriage was the most lonely time of my life. I was more lonely living with someone who do did not love me and looked at me with hatred than I am living without a man and sleeping alone every night. No longer am I lonely because I finally know what I want. It is that comfort of knowing that makes me fill fulfilled and whole inside. Even if it takes me years to find that someone that has what I want I can wake up each day with the security of knowing I will never live in misery again!
Honesty with each person we meet is essential to prevent hurt and regret in the long run. Just being up front about what we want is not going to hurt anyone- certainly not ourselves! Why waste time with someone who is not ready to settle down when you are? Why try to make a boy into a man? Why try to make someone who is completey unavailable emotionally love you? Why wait on someone's call who has better things to do than call you? Why obsess over someone who is already taken? Why maintain a connection with someone who says they do not want a relationship?Why waste your love, time and friendship on someone who does not appreciate it or see it for the treasure that it is?
Why don't we all just figure out what we want and stop wasting our time on people who do not want the same thing?????
So to those of you still playing that "dating game"-----the only words of wisdom I can give you is- what do you want? Find the answer to that....and only date others who want the same thing.....