Monday, December 24, 2007


our first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Bryant
I got on the table and danced- we had the BEST DJ!

I love my DRESS!!!

The kids were very much a part of the ceremony! They had so much at the reception and we are all so excited to start our new life as a family!

My favorite picture of us....I love that man so much!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Current mood: blessed
Category: Life & LOVE
It's been a long time coming when I can finally say that this year- is going to be a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Seriously!!! Only a little over a month ago we had the dream wedding- it was beautiful and perfect and even better than what we expected- so just when life seems like it can't get any better- here comes the Christmas season- and life is even sweeter!!! For those of you who have children- you know what I mean- seeing the look on their faces when the tree is all decorated and when the presents under the tree begin to grow- its a priceless experience! Even though we went 9 days without power- with 2 kids and 2 dogs- the Christmas spirit stayed alive and the entire experience made us even more thankful for all that we have- especially one another! And now we are only one day away from spending our first Christmas together as a family and I am so ecstatic! It seems that life is so serene right now- that I could live in this moment forever and ever! Not many of you know that last year ON CHRISTMAS DAY- Dustin Bryant and I began liking each other- we had been friends for about 6 months before- but that night- things just clicked and we began to see each other as more than friends- and it happened in Tanya's kitchen- when my kids and tanyas kids were there- and we were all just hanging out as friends! So we always joke and say that last year we got each other for Christmas!!! Our Christmas love story gives even more meaning to Christmas for us- we are celebrating one year of being together and we will always remember Christmas as something personally special!!! So this year we have each other and my kids- and it is going to be a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I hope everyone has a very merry christmas too!!!

Monday, September 24, 2007



Monday, September 24, 2007
Feeling Inspired, excited, exhausted, ecstatic and absolutely happy and in love!!! Current mood: loved Category: Life
I have little time to blog lately with wedding plans, kids, school, work, homework, and my fiancee being out of town working for the last 6 weeks has made things more hectic than usual- taking care of two houses now!!! I felt compelled to drop some lines of inspiration for my devoted blog readers!!! So here it is:
I was watching Oprah the other day ( Imagine that) and Justin Timberlake (who I secretly worship) was on her show. He sang a duet with Reba McEntire titled "The Only Promise That Remains" and WOW!!! I was totally inspired by this song! It's crazy how songs can define who we are, where we at in our lives and makes us think, ponder, live, feel and the words we just cannot get out of our minds- we sing them out loud in the car, in the shower, to our kids and even in our heads at work, school, home- music is such an inspiration! Well here are the lyrics to this song (keep reading- there is a closing to this blog):
When the ground beneath you starts a-shakin'And you forget the place we came fromWhen you're lost and lookin' for you're way homeYou're way home to meI'll come out and find youWhen the world around you starts a-movin'And you should wonder if I still love youIf you feel the darkness comin', risin' insideI'll make a light to guide you back homeAnd after all the sky is fallin' downAnd after all the water's washed awayMy love's the only promise that remainsWhen your doubts have got you thinkin'Nothing's ever really sacredAnd you're afraid you might believe in...Believe in me....And I'll give you a reasonCuz the world around us keeps on movin'And there's no doubt that I still love youSo when you feel the darkness comin', risin' insideI'll make a light to guide you back homeAnd after all the sky is fallin' downAnd after all the water's washed awayMy love's the only promise that remainsMy love's the only promise that remainsMy love's the only promise that remainsAnd after all the sky is fallin' down(After all the sky is fallin' down)And after all the water's washed away(After all the water's washed away)My love's the only promise that remains
First of all when I read the lyrics to this song- I think about God's love and how His love is the entire reason we are all here on this earth and how He is truly the one who makes all the wonderful things happen in our lives! Then I think of the people God put in my life that define the words of this song to me: my children and Dustin Bryant! And then I am overwhelmed- my heart is filled with the love I share with these 3 people- and my cup "runneth over" once again! When I realize- if the sky really did fall down- I would have Dustin Bryant by my side to protect me and my children- us as a family sticking together and protecting one another. This song also touches on being scared to love or doubting love. This is something that any and all people who have ever been hurt or betrayed in their life (most everyone) struggle with from time to time. What a blessing it is to find someone strong enough to lead me back to him when "doubts got me thinking nothing's ever really sacred"........a man that knows who he is and knows who he is with me- and would die for me- give up his life- for me!!! WOW!!! This song also touches on time- and how life goes on and on- time passes- and yet- that person's love is there- IT REMAINS- still untouchable, unscathed- his love is there- when things changes- life carries on- but you still have the same person you love who loves you with their undying unwavoring love!!! It's just awesome to have that!!! Life is so hectic and crazy sometimes and having that person to fall in to- and hold you and listen to you and wipe your tears, give you advice and be there- strong and steadfast! His love makes such a difference in my life- I know he is always there and his love remains day in and day out!!! I have never had that and I never dreamed it was possible to experience this feeling with another human being- I always settled for less than love because I did not believe in true love or soulmates! I had never seen it in my home and I let the world convince me that life could not be a fairy tale and a man and a woman could not be happy and in love together- forever.....BUT I now know that TRUTH- love does exist- and it can be there when the sky falls down, when the earth shakes, when you have doubt, when you lost your way- and having that- is worth every mistake I made to get here!!! Sometimes when I think I am actually going to marry this man- DUSTIN BRYANT- I am just so overwhelmed I cannot do anything but CRY CRY CRY!!! When we got engaged I cried for two straight days- when we told my kids- I cried, his parents, I cried, and pretty much everyone- those were tears of wow, relief, excitement, thankfulness and love- finally it is me that gets her fairy tale- finally it is me that has the man that would save me if the sky was falling down, lead me back home if I was lost, be my light in the dark, catch me when I fall, and never let me forget that the promise of his love will always remain true and strong!
I love finally being able to relate wholly and truly to an awesome love song!! It is definately my "defining" "wow" moment (as Oprah would say)!!!!

Friday, July 13, 2007


Friday, July 13, 2007
November 17 is THE DATE!!!! Current mood: excited Category: Romance and Relationships
Things have been so crazy this last month I haven't even had time to post the best blog I have written in my entire life! so it is official as June 13, 2007 that Dustin Bryant and I are getting married! We set the date for November 17, 2007- hence the reason why I am sooo busy and things have been crazy! this wedding planning business is a mess! We have finally ironed the details for the reception- we are having it at Bridle Creek between Skiatook and Sperry- it is beautiful there! We set up a wedding site- and we are currently working on our growing guest list! I have to say that never in my life I have ever felt so happy and complete! The kids are ecstatic and cannot wait to live with Dustin in his new house! He closed and got all moved in 3 weeks ago and we have been decorating and working on things at his new house too! He lives down the road from his parents- who I love and adore more than words can say! They are so good to my kids and I- I couldn't ask for better in laws! They are truly the best- now I see why Dustin is such a good guy- he has awesome parents! It will be nice to one day have another baby and he or she will have grandparents right down the road- and awesome grandparents at that! I cannot wait to marry him, have kids and grow old with the person who loves me, understands me, listens to me, puts up with me and makes me laugh- UNCONDITIONALLY- no matter what and he is my best friend through and through! Life finally makes sense and I am just peachy, happy and truly blessed to have him and be getting married to him! THe kids and I couldn't have asked for a better man to be in our lives! So for now- I am planning and counting down the days til I become Mrs. Bryant! We picked our wedding song too- "The Day Before You" by Rascal Flatts- it is so us! So check it out! The words to this song say it all!!!!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007


Wednesday, May 09, 2007
I absofreakinglutely love him!!!!
Current mood: loved
Category: Romance and Relationships
Never in a million years could anyone convince me that this man hating, hard hearted, non trusting, been cheated on, queen of "never getting married again" would stand here today and proclaim that I certainly, 100% absofreakinglutely am in love with the best man in this world (Im beginning to think i snagged the last good guy left on this Earth!).....BUT IT'S TRUE- he is mine and Im pretty sure he will be mine forever and could I have ever have known that the boy that was in front of my face almost every weekend....William Dustin Bryant- the boy from Sperry that started out as my buddy, then my good friend, then my boyfriend would be the person I would end up's funny how God works and how He prepares us to be ready for THE ONE and He does not allow us to see it until He knows we are ready- we were both ready when the time came for us to be more than friends and now it has grown into the most beautiful loving caring relationship and friendship I could ever have dreamed of- seriously something I thought only happened in the movies is now happening to ME- the girl who made sooo many mistakes in my past relationship- married a total loser and spent 7 years in misery trying to make a bad thing better- I AM NOW living a dream- it's just like heaven- and I feel so blessed! My kids and I could not be any more happy than we are right now and I know it will only continue to grow! so to everyone that has been hurt, let down, or just got out of a bad relationship- keep your head up- because it only means the one for you is still out there....and I promise it's the truth- YOU FIND THE ONE WHEN YOU ARE NOT LOOKING AND LEAST EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN!!! I have come full circle in my life- I finally feel complete and I finally feel loved- UNCONDITIONALLY!!! It's good stuff and for that I have to say- AMEN!!!!!

Sunday, March 11, 2007



Sunday, March 11, 2007
Humanity Current mood: hopeful
No matter how many times I have been let down, cheated on, lied to and just down right stomped on by people who claim or have claimed to love me- I will never give up the hope that humanity exists within the heart of each and every individual in this world. At times like this- it is so easy to give up hope on the good and let the bad rule your attitude- I refuse to do that! I refuse to let someone else's stupidity steal my joy! I refuse to dwell on the negative effects their choices will have on my children's lives. I refuse to be surprised that once again- a bad choice was made. I refuse to let someone who never deserved my love in the first
place effect my life with his mistakes. I refuse to let my children think the way that person is living is right.
I will continue to cling to the hope that even though some people in this world are clearly NOT capable of living their lives right, moral and in a positive way for their childen- somewhere deep down humanity exists and there is good in everyone- even those who hurt others and live destructive lifestyles!
With this said- I have to add that I am so glad for those people in my life that love me (my kids, Dustin Bryant, Dustin's family, my family, friends and coworkers) and who support me in everything I do! They make this dysfunctional life of mine seem more functional and they add humor, happiness, good times, and love to my life on a daily basis! So to you all- I owe you the world and I love you all dearly!!! You are all a perfect example of humanity at its best!! Bless you all!!!

Friday, March 2, 2007


Friday, March 02, 2007
I OVERCAME Current mood: thankful

"He who overcomes.... (REV 21:7)"- a verse from the Bible that gently rings through my ears each and every time that I step back from my life and see how wonderful, fulfilled, peaceful and full of love it is! After all the heartache, betrayal, abuse, lies, and let downs- look at the life I now have! It seems almost like a dream but then I remember- I overcame! I got through it- I made it out- I was broken and maybe a part of me always will be- but I am stronger now than I have ever been in my life. Looking back I finally understand that all the mistakes I made, all the times I went back, all the abuse I endured- was for a reason. Each and every decision and the outcome- brought me here- right here at this very point that I am at in my life. It is funny how God brings certain people in your life and it leads you to's crazy how things work out!
My kids are finally seeing what it is like for two people to love one another and laugh together! My son is 7 years old and he has never seen that- how sad! My daughter is so in love with Dustin Bryant- she thinks he is her boyfriend too! LOL! The two of them love him- they love going to the "love shack" and if they don't see him for a night- they are asking for him to come over! I've never seen them be so excited to be around any man- I'm still not sure how to react to it all- I just know I am blessed and I am happy- truly, genuinely happy for the first time in my adult life!
I am so glad I finally let go of all the anger and hurt- because as soon as I made the resolution to do so- God brought me my missing link! He is the only one who has been able to break down my walls and dig deep enough to see me- the real me- for all my flaws, shortcomings, my fears and the love that exists within me. I have always been so guarded, I built a huge brick wall around my heart and never allowed anyone to love the real me, see the real me- it was a way to protect myself- if they hurt me- they were not hurting the real me- so I was safe! But letting go of that fear has been a liberating experience! I can be honest- for once- I can say how I really feel- and he listens and he understands- who knew I could that? Certainly not me! But it takes that kind of respect and love to bring that out in a person......and I am so thankful to have that! To finally have that person that I can be myself with- crazy, wild, goofy, happy, excited, nerdy, silly- and all the other complex, complicated, simple aspects of myself- he embraces all of it- I can just BE- BE WHO I AM- BE STILL and know that he is there- no matter what! He completes my family- he is the missing link that brings it all together! Funny thing is- I never felt like anything was missing- until he began spending time with the kids and I- and I saw how much better it is with him in our lives! He fits so well with us.....and it makes me so thankful for everything I went through in the past- because all of it brought me here! I finally understand- I see the full circle of things and it makes me feel soooo very BLESSED! So my advice to anyone out there that is hurting, not happy with their life or in a bad relationship- just remember- God lets us suffer so when we finally overcome the bad- we will truly appreciate all the blessings and good things in our life!!!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


Wednesday, February 14, 2007
In Acknowledgement of this lovey dovey mushy gushy DAY!!! Current mood: cheerful Category: Romance and Relationships
Okay so I know most people think that EVERYONE that has SOMEONE on this day we refer to as "Valentine's Day" is just so excited and pumped about the sweet nothings they will soon be whispering in each other's ears declaring their undying love for one another- well I am going to put a little bit of the Crawford girl spin on things and say this- PEOPLE- EVERYDAY SHOULD BE VALENTINE'S DAY!!! It should not take a holiday dubbed by pure legend of a dead Roman Catholic saint to tell the person special to you how much you care for them- better yet- why should you have to tell them- SHOW THEM- EVERYDAY STINKING DAY!!! Life is too short to reserve one solitary day to say- "hey you are special to me and I love you"- Geez- show it- all the time- each time you see them- and if you are lucky enough- your love will be requited- and just holding that person in your arms is better than any $4.00 Valentine's Day card from Wal-Mart could ever be- even a dozen roses (although I do like being sent flowers- on spontaneous occasions)!!!
So okay- I am going to say it- Happy Freaking Valentine's Day to everyone- married, single, divorced, separated, gay and straight! I hope this day goes well for you and you take time out to love someone, tell them, show them, whatever- just remember when you do- to repeat it- the next day, and the next day and the after that and if you are blessed enough- for the rest of your life!
I am fortunate to be spending my normal ritual of Wednesday nights- with "the boy" from Sperry- my Bryant, the friend who was my buddy, then my cuddle partner, then my 30 mile radius friend, then my dating partner and now I am lucky girl and can say- he is my boyfriend! Thanks to months of friendship, lots of fun/ good times, many laughs, and lots of hours spent talking about whether we should or shouldn't become more than just friends- we are now the couple that I used to envy- the "it couple"! I am so glad we are together- I am happy, content, fulfilled and just one blessed girl! My kids are happy- we all laugh together, play together, make fun of each other and sometimes laugh til we cry and in the kids' case- pass gas- yes they do!!! I knew I was right where I needed to be when tonight my son said to him and I "Dustin you are the opposite of my dad- you are funny and nice and my dad is mean and not funny"- for a little boy who is learning about opposites right now in school- he nailed it on the head- and made me see that YES I AM DOING IT- Getting away from the so so and moving on to something completely better and different from my old life- and for that- I am soooo happy and relieved!!! I cant say enough how good it feels to be with someone who understands me, sees me for me and still wants to be with me, sees my kids throw fits and still he is there, laughs with me, holds me when I cry, looks in my eyes all the time, kisses me like its the last time we will kiss- everytime, holds me for hours, dances with me, sings with me, is not scared to be open, doesn't care that I am crazy, doesn't care that I dance with everyone, is NOT JEALOUS, is NOT CONTROLLING, is a good guy, has a good/funny family, spends time with my friends, lightens the mood when I am gripey, loves my kids, and most importantly- is MY BEST FRIEND!!! I can tell him anything even if I know it might be something Im not proud of- I know he is there for me- I am his and he is mine! What more could a girl want for Valentine's Day than that???? I cant think of one thing!
So to all the haters- get off the couch and do something- and to all the lovers- whether you are in love now or not- enjoy your day and eat a piece of chocolate for me!!! And remember- make it last past Valentine's Day- that is real love!!!

Thursday, February 1, 2007


Thursday, February 01, 2007
Maybe IM amazed Current mood: happy Category: Romance and Relationships

Three words say it all......MAYBE IM AMAZED......that's all I can say.....Im speechless....tongue tied.....and absolutely amazed and happy!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


dax at veterans day program

mady sock hop day

mady thanksgiving program

dax won two awards for 2nd grade

my sister and I with Dax- he was crown bearer
in Skiatook Wrestling Homecoming 1/30/2007

Tuesday, January 30, 2007
SICK AND TIRED (What it takes to be a REAL parent) Current mood: tired Category: Life
Being a parent involves so many aspects of life. To name the top four- spiritual, emotional, physical and financial support of your children! You cannot pick and choose which of these you want to uphold- you must uphold all of them- or guess what- you are not a good parent! BOTTOM LINE!! If you cannot make time for your children- to be there for them at important events- like watching your son be the crown bearer at homecoming- taking them to their awards banquet- taking them to their games- then GUESS WHAT- YOU ARE NOT A GOOD PARENT!!!! I am sick and tired of the b.s. and of people who think just because their check is being garnished for child support and they pick up their kids every other weekend- they are a good parent!!! NO YOU ARE NOT!!! There is so much more that comes with being a parent- like- staying home with them from work when they are sick- even though youve already used all your sick leave and you know you wont get paid- talking with their teachers on a weekly basis- inviting their friends over for playdates- playing twister until your legs and arms hurt- reading books- singing and dancing to music- praying together- playing together- cheering them on at ALL THEIR SPORTS EVENTS- taking their picture as they get their trophies- hugging them when they are sad- disciplining them when they need it- cooking together- being the parent that has the camera and the camcorder on the front row so you will have memories of your childhood to cherish- respecting their other parent even though you cant stand them- coaching their sports team- showing up to their games- teaching them to have positive attitude- teaching them to share- teaching the that family is the most important thing in this life- teaching them to forgive- sacrificing your happiness to make them happy- swallowing your pride to provide for them- smiling when you just want to cry- making life happen for them day in and day out- putting their happiness before your own-
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY- LOVING THEM EVERYDAY (which means- calling them everyday & being there for their important events)!!!
I am sick and tired of dead beat parents hurting their children- its painful to watch!!! Why have children if you do not want to be a REAL PARENT???

Friday, January 19, 2007


me & marcie- my single mom friend!

Friday, January 19, 2007
For all the Single Mothers Current mood: contemplative Category: Life

I have come to the realization that single mothers have the most thick, tough skin of anyone in this world! I know motherhood in itself makes a woman have superwoman qualities- but imagine doing it day in and day out- ALONE! No help from anyone! Imagine having children with someone who despises you and does everything in their power to make your life difficult and uses your kids to hurt- or even worse- having a child who has been adandoned by their other parent (that has happened to me before when my son was born). BUT you love your kids so you fight back retaliation and harsh words that you could say in response to being called a curse words and vulgar names in front of your children. YOU fight back getting upset when he refuses to help pay his share of medical expenses, extracurricular acitivites, birthday parties, and better yet- CHILD SUPPORT! You try not to cry in front of your children when they come home and tell you they did not have presents under the tree at their dad's house, or they lost a tooth at his house and the tooth fairy did not come- even better- he does not come get them at all and you have to see the hurt and pain in your children's eyes!
Each day you wake up to the reality that your children- the most precious things in the world to you- are depending solely upon you to show them the way in life because their other parent does know the meaning of morals or standards. No matter if you are having a bad day, you are sick- you have to be a mother first and make their life happen before you can do anything for yourself! You wake up each day and ask yourself if leaving their parent to get out of an abuse marriage was so right then why is it so hard? When will things start to turn around and when will your children not have to be hurt by this person anymore?
Being at home with my kids all week- day and night- made me realize- I am doing this- and I am doing a good job! Did their father call one time this week and ask to take to lunch (he works in Skiatook) or help me out (knowing I had been cooped up in the house all day with them)- Of course not!!! All he thinks about is himself- he is allowed that luxury- because I am the most selfless person in this world and sacrifice my very being for my children to have what they need and for them to be happy! I know what is right- and that is putting my kids first and foremost in my life- who else is going to do that? No one!
From day one- when I had my son at 20- he was born 2 months early- I was all alone- his dad was not around- I was at NICU from 8 in the morning until midnight- making sure he was okay- I had just had a c-section and it was freezing cold outside and I would walk from the parking lot in BFE to the hospital in so much pain- but knew he needed me- I was the only one- he was and still is my miracle baby and my world! And I hate the fact that someday he will have to know the truth- that his father was not there when he born, did not come to the hospital- did not even see his precious face until he was a year old! It breaks my heart that he will to feel the pain and rejection that I felt that entire year! My daughter will also know the truth that her dad was not there for her when she was born either! Sometimes I wonder why I put so much effort into someone who put so little effort into us? THEN I realize- my life is not over- I got a new start- I got away- I can show my children what love really is- happiness and goodness- and they deserve that! Thank GOD my children have me because my number one job on this earth is to make sure they have a good life- despite who their father is- their mother is awesome and will do her best to provide for them, love them, nurture them, be there for them, take care of them when their hurt or sick and show them how to be a good person!
So for anyone who would ever think about messing with a single mother- and believe me- what I mentioned in the above blog- is only the tip of the iceberg to the mess I have been through- I would think twce- you might just unleash a lion!!!

Monday, January 8, 2007


Monday, January 08, 2007
After the Storm..... Current mood: pleased Category: Life
So as you all know I bought my first home as a single woman in August. THe house was built in 1952 and along with buying an older home comes older buildings- otherwise known as "sheds". My house sits on an acre and I have 3 sheds that really are on their last leg!!! So after the recents snow storms in DEcember- 2 of 3 of the roofs caved in on these things....and well it is pretty much a mess!! SO Today I just got sick of it and was like "okay it is a new year- 2007- time to clean up messes in my personal life and on my property!". So me, my bare hands and a hammer, hit, tore, pulled, moved and cleared out those 2 buildings- ALL BY MYSELF!!! No work gloves, no fancy tools, no machines or powered saws- just me, my anger, my stress and my woman power- and of course- the hammer and we got the job done! I was so proud that I had to call my best friend T is for Tanya to come see the finished product- she was impressed!! It was so theurapetic!! I have been saying for months that I needed a punching bag but this was far more better- because I was making progress on my yard and that felt good! IT felt good to let it out- it felt good to do something I thought only a man could do- it felt good that every 5 minutes my daughter would stop and say "man mom you are strong"- it felt good that I was showing her that I can do it all- I felt like superwoman!! So I am glad for the storm- glad that I have a project to get my mind off my ocean of stress and worries and mostly I am glad that I can do so many things on my own and without the help of a man- it feels good to clean things up after the storm! 2007 is going to be a great year!!!

Wednesday, January 3, 2007


Wednesday, January 03, 2007
I did it again!!! Current mood: excited
For the regular readers of my famous blog you might remember a few months ago when I posted the blog about being so proud of my single, independent self for putting up a trampoline by myself- well I have to share YET ANOTHER proud single mother moment with all my blog admirers!!!
My daughter's bunk bed has been sitting in her room in pieces for the last two months!
SO tonight I set out on the bunk bed challenge and I am proud to say I had it all put together in less than an hour- using only my two hands! I swear the woman power just consumes me and radiates from my presence!
Even though I do not really promote nor believe in New Year's Resolutions- because let's face it- we all need to be happy with who we are and where we are at right now- the changing of a date cannot miraculously make our problems go away or our butts get any skinnier but I will admit that when I adopted the motto- "New Year- New ME" because I have been through a very rough year! So with that motto in my mind- I took a look at my daughter's bed and my new set of tools- and thought- to heck with waiting on some man or boy to come over and help me! I can do this myself! Geez....I already gave birth to and am raising two awesome children on my own- what could be harder than that?
So with 2007 ahead of me and the frame of mind that I can do anything within my power-I know this year is going to be the best yet!