ANOTHER SIRM FREE IVF GIVE AWAY!
HERE IS OUR ENTRY...
Praying this will be our chance!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
It's Been WAY too Long...
It's been way too long...since I have blogged! So here is my laundry list of excuses of things that have kept me busy to the point of non-blogging...God has filled my life with amazing opportunities & amazing family, friends and new people...here are the pics to prove it...
JUST A FEW MORE PICS OF BABY KADE BEFORE I END THIS BLOG...LIFE IS SO SWEET!
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| I took my profession to the next level as the OSC for Capital Homes |
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| I did some lobbying at the Oklahoma State for laws effecting Home Builders. This is me, with Senator Rick Brinkley and Mindy Baker- Capital Homes Sales Exec. |
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| I was appointed the Social Media & Communication Chair for Oklahoma Professional Women in Building- this is me, Kimmi Houston (the National Chair for PWB) and Mindy Baker- Capital Homes Sales Exec at the OSHBA Spring Boards |
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| I organized & hosted 3 Trade Shows at 3 of our model homes- this is in Bixby at Providence Hills- we had around 45 people in attendance! |
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| I found out that big scissors they always use- really ARE scissors- when I cut the ribbon for the Sapulpa Chamber Ribbon Cutting for Capital Homes' new model home! |
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| I changed things up a bit with New Red Highlights in my hair! |
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| I organized & worked at various Events promoting Capital Homes- like the Oklahoma Wedding Show |
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| I made my first Diaper Cake for my new nephew baby Kade! and I hosted my sis-in-laws baby shower! |
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| I became an Aunt for the 5th time! My sister in law & her hubby had the most precious cutest little boy on cinco de mayo! Kade Aaron Runk! Love him! |
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| We took a "cousin" trip to the zoo over Spring Break! The kids & nephews w/ my mom at the Tulsa Zoo- you are never too old to enjoy the good ole Zoo! |
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| I worked the Capital Homes Booth at the Owasso Trail Days Business Expo! |
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| I enjoyed a Red Dirt Concert w/ my Hubby at the Cains! |
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| I bought an iphone 4 for myself and ipod touch 4 for Mady so we could Facetime while she's at her dads- her brother already had one- so now we all stay in touch a little better- which makes it nice! |
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| I attended Charity Events like Owasso Community Resources Casino Night. |
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| I was in such a scatter brain hurry that day after working an event all day then coming home to change & be back in Owasso for the OCR event- I put on two different pairs of heels & had to buy new ones before the event! |
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| The Kids and I took a short trip OKC to watch my mom be inducted as the first female NE Oklahoma VP of Okla Elks Lodge. She and my grandmother both won awards for their performance at their Rituals Competitions. I am very proud of them! |
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| I witnessed my nephew Logan go to his first prom- it was so bittersweet- man Im getting old & time flies too fast! |
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| Mady girl had her first piano recital 5/15/2011 she did great! so proud of her! |
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| I had a wonderful Mother's Day with some of my favorite people! |
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| and my kids gave me the best gift- they GOT ALONG all.day.long for one day! |
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| I worked the Keller Williams Trade Show |
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| I was honored to be the guest of the Honorary Chairman for this event...it was a magical night at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Tulsa! |
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| I got dolled up- hair and make up did & wore fake eyelashes for the first time for the Hispanic Excelencia Awards Gala! |
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| Mady finished up the 3rd grade- here she is with her group of BFFs and her all time fave teacher Mrs. Jeffries! She made STRAIGHT A's all year & was listed on the Superintendent's Honor Roll! |
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| Daxon finished up the 5th grade- he was listed on the Principal's Honor Roll- with Mrs. Vance- our all time fave teacher- what a blessing she was to our family this year! We will miss her! AND I cannot believe my son will be in Junior High in August *tear* |
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| My baby girl turned 9 another tear |
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| She had a big Diva Birthday Bash....fashion stage, decorations, arts & crafts & hair feathers! |
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| We enjoyed some lake time over Memorial Day weekend! |
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| AND LAST BY NOT LEAST- MARCH 8TH I BOUGHT A NEW CAR!!! A SUPER CUTE PT CRUISER CONVERTIBLE!! THE KIDS SAID WE ARE "FINALLY PIMPIN" WHICH I GUESS IS A GOOD THING!!! |
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| MY FAVE PIC- look at his lil hand compared to Dustins |
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| Uncle Dustin loves his new nephew Kade! |
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| Shes Smitten! |
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| He loves being a big cousin! |
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| Right after he was born! I was so blessed to be able to share that precious day with Heather, Aaron & Kade! What a blessing! |
Monday, February 14, 2011
A Mushy Valentine's Day Blog: Warning May Contain Lovey Dovey Sentiments
In celebration of our fourth Valentine's Day together...I am writing a mushy love blog!
When I look at the pictures of us on Valentine's Day in 2007- our first Vday together only two months into our courtship- I am A-Mazed at all the things we have been through together- good and bad in the four years since we took this pic. I often wonder if my Hubby would have run screaming in the other direction if he had known what a hand full, loaded with baggage, mess I was (maybe still am). But then I remind myself a night too long after this pic was taken when I was dealing with some not so great things and he told he had broad shoulders to carry us both through whatever life brought our way. He was right- he has carried us both through many ups and downs and I revere him for his strength and loyalty through life's celebrations and tragedies.
So on this lovey dovey day of L-O-V-E I want to thank God for giving me my Hubby, aside from my children and sister- he is the best thing in my life and I am certain I would not be who I am today if I did not have him in my life. He lets me chase my dreams...no matter what the cost! He stands by me and always has my back! I can be who I am with him and I never have to worry that he won't understand what I am trying to say or do- because he just GETS ME! His love is solid and unconditional and I am certain that are hard times are past us and our future together is bright and full of amazing things!
Whatever we have overcome together has only made us stronger and brought us closer and to me- that is the true test of love- those who can go through, excuse me, Hell together, and come out on the other side stronger, determined and driven to get to the top of the mountain- hand in hand. We have reached our mountain top and what a journey it has been. Through custody battles, financial struggles (because of the custody battles), selling houses, moving, flipping houses, losing loved ones, and a failed IVF- we are still madly in love just like we were on the day this picture was taken- even more so now because of everything we have been through together.
I could not ask for a better husband, a more perfect match or a better man to share my life- even in the crazy times! Thank you Hubby for loving me through everything and being my #1 Fan! You are THE BEST! MUAH!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Music Heals the Soul? I Say Music WITH a Side of Dancing Heals the Soul!
It's been nearly two years since the Hubby and I enjoyed a night out on the town. Not that we don't like going out and dancing...we LOVE to! We just seldom make time for ourselves to do the fun stuff! We were kidless and Hubby the day off Friday so Thursday night we ventured out with family and friends and danced the night away!
As we drove to Tulsa I started thinking about exactly WHY it had been so long since we had been dancing since we love it so much. I decided the last two years have just been busy and challenging! Here's a little breakdown: for 11 months we were entrenched in a custody battle (that thankfully we put to rest in May 2010), we sold a house, remodeled and moved into another house, lost a beloved grandfather, lost a beloved family dog, we spent all of summer 2010 at the lake (our best summer yet), the kids switched schools (for the best), kids school & sports, I walked away from working in public education to begin a new career in new home sales, writing & marketing and we spent two months preparing, go through (11 days in Vegas) IVF to try to have a baby which ended in a miscarriage. So I would say I understand WHY it's been so long since we took time to enjoy ourselves by spending the night out on the town.
We danced our hearts out for nearly 4 hours. Singing, laughing and mostly- DANCING! As we were enjoying the evening I looked my hubby in the eyes and I was overwhelmed by the fact that after everything we had been through...we are still as happy as the first day we fell in love! He still gives me chills when he touches, makes me laugh and sweeps me off my feet when we dance! I am truly blessed!
Even though a part of me remains in recovery mode I can say that for the first time since November I felt healed! By the music and especially by the dancing...my soul was calmed and I felt NORMAL again! Thank you Lord for giving us music and giving couples like Hubby and I dancing...so when we are climbing our way out of the valley we can do so while dancing and singing!
I AM DEDICATING THIS POST TO MARY KATHRYN RIDENOUR...LIFELONG SPERRY/SKIATOOK RESIDENT, MOM, GRANDMOTHER, GREAT-GRANDMOTHER, SISTER, COUSIN, AUNT, FRIEND AND LOVING CHRISTIAN WOMAN WHO WENT TO BE WITH HER LORD JANUARY 1, 2010. SHE WILL BE MISSED BY MANY. HER GRANDDAUGHTER SHARED WITH ME YESTERDAY THAT SHE ENJOYED READING MY IVF BLOG POSTS AND WOULD ALWAYS VISIT WITH HER ABOUT IT. SHE LOVED SINGING AND I HAVE MANY FOND MEMORIES OF HER IN THE CHURCH CHOIR. KATHRYN WAS SUCH AN ENCOURAGEMENT AND INSPIRATION TO ME WHEN I WAS STRUGGLING! I WAS BLESSED TO KNOW HER!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
My Christmas Gift...4 Years Ago
It is one of those stories that I can't wait to tell our future children! We were both single, totally NOT looking for a relationship and we had been friends for about 6 months. My single friend and his single were sort of dating and on Christmas evening his friend and mine friend were having dinner at her house. She didn't want to be there alone with him and her kids, and he didn't want to be there alone with her and her kids so he brought Dustin along and she invited me and my kids to come over. Neither of us knew the other would be there. We spent the evening laughing, talking, eating pizza in her kitchen while her kids and my kids played in the living room with all new Christmas gifts. We all agreed it was nice to unwind from the hustle and bustle from a family filled Christmas day.
That evening something changed in the way I looked at him and felt about him. It was certainly one of those AHA moments when you realized what you wanted was right in front of you for some time now. I can't really explain it but things just clicked with us and from that day forward we were pretty much inseparable. He made me laugh and I was totally not skeptical of him- like I was with other guys. He was a small town boy but very quick witted and smart and thought intrigued me beyond all means.
I am so very thankful for our two friends for inviting us with them that night. I am sure we would have eventually ended up together but that night was just perfect. I actually had my kids in tow with me so he saw some of the 4 and 6 year old craziness which obviously did not scary him away- which said A LOT. Even though we had been friends for 6 months I was very picky about who came around my kids and honestly he was the first guy who had been around them since my divorce. I felt safe with him. I knew he was a good guy with a solid background and good family.
God gave me peace about him. He saw me in mom mode and saw my kids in kid mode and he still wanted to date me. What a guy! He was only 23 at the time, with no kids, never married, and I honestly did not think he and I would make it past a few months because my life was so complicated and busy and his was so NOT complicated and so quiet. But he embraced the kids and I and all are dysfunction and craziness and he has loved us unconditionally from day one. I love him so much for being strong through everything. He is so amazing and to this day...he is the best Christmas gift I have ever been given...I thank God everyday for him and his love!
So as you celebrate your Christmas today and tonight...just remember that the most precious, viable, long lasting gifts DO NOT come from the store, they can't be bought...they come from the heart, from actions, from memories and mostly from God.
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and don't forget the true meaning of the season....Jesus!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Walking With God
We didn't make it to church this morning as we had a house full of chattering, giggling, running through the house kids last night who were up until 4 am. But they had a good time and that's all that matters. Thankfully I had our church bulletin in my email and was able to read it over just a little bit ago. In it was an amazing poem that spoke directly to me and so I am sharing it with you! Here it goes:
Walking With God Sometimes I walk in the shadow,
Sometimes in sunlight clear;
But whether in gloom or brightness
The Lord is very near.
Sometimes I walk in the valley,
Sometimes on the mountain crest,
But whether on low or high land,
The Lord is manifest.
Sometimes I walk in the desert,
Sometimes in waters cold,
But whether by sands or streamlets
The Lord doth me enfold.
Sometimes I walk in green pastures,
Sometimes on barren land;
But whether in peace or danger
The Lord holds fast my hand.
This poem sums up exactly how it feels to live the life of a Christian. Times will not always be sunny, happy, safe, healthy or joyful. There will be times of disappointment, sadness, sorrow, darkness and sickness. But as long as we walk with God we know we will grow into better people and come out of valley with a story to share and hope to keep us going. It also reminds us that the Lord is ALWAYS with us through the good and the bad times. He walks with us and never lets go of our hand.
So keep hanging on and keep your faith and I promise one day you will be at top of your mountain, shining in the sun!
Sometimes in sunlight clear;
But whether in gloom or brightness
The Lord is very near.
Sometimes I walk in the valley,
Sometimes on the mountain crest,
But whether on low or high land,
The Lord is manifest.
Sometimes I walk in the desert,
Sometimes in waters cold,
But whether by sands or streamlets
The Lord doth me enfold.
Sometimes I walk in green pastures,
Sometimes on barren land;
But whether in peace or danger
The Lord holds fast my hand.
This poem sums up exactly how it feels to live the life of a Christian. Times will not always be sunny, happy, safe, healthy or joyful. There will be times of disappointment, sadness, sorrow, darkness and sickness. But as long as we walk with God we know we will grow into better people and come out of valley with a story to share and hope to keep us going. It also reminds us that the Lord is ALWAYS with us through the good and the bad times. He walks with us and never lets go of our hand.
So keep hanging on and keep your faith and I promise one day you will be at top of your mountain, shining in the sun!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Just a Small Town Girl Living in a Not So Lonely World
I love the Journey song "Don't Stop Believing" for obvious reasons now but I always loved this song and I am proud to say both my kids love it too! The opening lyrics to this song goes a little something like this "just a small town girl living in a lonely world". I cannot imagine living a small town AND being lonely. Though at times living in a small town can equal too many people knowing your business I have learned after 31 years in Skiatook, Oklahoma to just embrace it. Thanks to Facebook 75% percent of my friends are in my "Skiatook Peeps" group. Some of them I have known since Kindergarten, some are parents of my kids' friends, some are parents of my friends, some are church family, some are just friends of friends or acquaintances. So there are many many people who know about my struggle with infertility everywhere I go. I am thankful for the hugs, prayers, text message, phone calls, cards, well wishes and sympathy. At first it just made me cry but now that I am not so emotional I am even more thankful than I was for all the support.
It's no secret that in the midwest patriarchal society many women are mothers by the age of 25. Most of my high school friends are parents of several children and some even divorced and remarried (like myself) before the age of 30. If you are 30 and you do not have kids yet people are constantly asking you why you either aren't married yet or why you do not have kids yet. Thankfully, I have a 8 and 10 year to detour the "why don't you have kids yet?" comment but sadly my Hubby does not have kids so as a married couple we still get the kids question. Most people by now are aware of our infertility and our failed IVF cycle and Lord have mercy on the person's soul who does not and unknowingly asks us the kid question. For a couple to be married more than two years and NOT have kids yet is taboo in our small town society.
I think about the couples who fit into the "no kids" criteria and I wonder if they are struggling with infertility and just not discussing it. I am sure if they lived anywhere else than Small Town America it would seem quite normal for them to be in their late 20s or early 30s and not have children. One would assume they are working on their careers, busy traveling, etc. and just are "waiting to have children". I honestly have never heard ANYONE say that aloud in my entire life. I cannot imagine the pressure infertile couples must feel living in Patriarchal society. Though I feel the pressure is alleviated by about half because of my two children, there is still pressure, expectations and well meaning nosy people who want to know about our having or not having children of our own.
Since the Holidays are upon us I felt this post was appropriate. The Sher Institute posted a video on their Facebook page today (which I am sharing here) focusing on the holidays and how infertile couples cope during the holidays. I have also been reading through many other infertile's blogs and realized how torturous the holidays are for them. I know that we had to deal with Thanksgiving during my Two Week Wait and while my kids were gone to their dads- and wow I nearly had a nervous breakdown. One infertile's blog post even made it to the front page of AOL where she rants about not wanting to receive Christmas Cards with ONLY the pictures of the couples' children on it. That made me highly aware of photos I use for our Christmas Cards this year. I would hate to think I unknowingly hurt someone's feelings or was insensitive to anyone's situation. There is also a high sensitivity when it comes to dealing with pregnant friends or family members and couples with babies or small children.
Being from a small town I know LOTS and LOTS of friends and some family who either are pregnant or have small babies. It's just unavoidable. I don't struggle as much with those situations because I am a mom and as a Christian I refuse to look on anyone with envy or jealousy. But for those women out there who have been struggling for years and years to conceive I can totally understand why they feel the way they feel. Infertility takes A LOT away from your self esteem and mental well being. It is so easy to fall into the bitter, envious category and become wracked with hurt and sadness. My best advice is to keep your eye on the prize not the prize of others. God's timing is not always the same as ours. He knows your heart and He knows what you need and when you need it. If the holidays are too hard on you, take a vacation to a sunny beach and forego the crying baby, children packed holiday get together. That's absolutely what I would be doing if I was childless and struggling with infertility right now. Because putting yourself in a situation that will create anxiety or stress is no good for anyone. Give yourself a break and focus on the blessing you do have- your loving, supportive spouse. We all know men who stick by their wives through infertility treatments are angels without wings. Be thankful for what you have now and always keep the hope for what you want to have in the future.
Sending love and hugs to my fellow IFers during the holidays....
It's no secret that in the midwest patriarchal society many women are mothers by the age of 25. Most of my high school friends are parents of several children and some even divorced and remarried (like myself) before the age of 30. If you are 30 and you do not have kids yet people are constantly asking you why you either aren't married yet or why you do not have kids yet. Thankfully, I have a 8 and 10 year to detour the "why don't you have kids yet?" comment but sadly my Hubby does not have kids so as a married couple we still get the kids question. Most people by now are aware of our infertility and our failed IVF cycle and Lord have mercy on the person's soul who does not and unknowingly asks us the kid question. For a couple to be married more than two years and NOT have kids yet is taboo in our small town society.
I think about the couples who fit into the "no kids" criteria and I wonder if they are struggling with infertility and just not discussing it. I am sure if they lived anywhere else than Small Town America it would seem quite normal for them to be in their late 20s or early 30s and not have children. One would assume they are working on their careers, busy traveling, etc. and just are "waiting to have children". I honestly have never heard ANYONE say that aloud in my entire life. I cannot imagine the pressure infertile couples must feel living in Patriarchal society. Though I feel the pressure is alleviated by about half because of my two children, there is still pressure, expectations and well meaning nosy people who want to know about our having or not having children of our own.
Since the Holidays are upon us I felt this post was appropriate. The Sher Institute posted a video on their Facebook page today (which I am sharing here) focusing on the holidays and how infertile couples cope during the holidays. I have also been reading through many other infertile's blogs and realized how torturous the holidays are for them. I know that we had to deal with Thanksgiving during my Two Week Wait and while my kids were gone to their dads- and wow I nearly had a nervous breakdown. One infertile's blog post even made it to the front page of AOL where she rants about not wanting to receive Christmas Cards with ONLY the pictures of the couples' children on it. That made me highly aware of photos I use for our Christmas Cards this year. I would hate to think I unknowingly hurt someone's feelings or was insensitive to anyone's situation. There is also a high sensitivity when it comes to dealing with pregnant friends or family members and couples with babies or small children.
Being from a small town I know LOTS and LOTS of friends and some family who either are pregnant or have small babies. It's just unavoidable. I don't struggle as much with those situations because I am a mom and as a Christian I refuse to look on anyone with envy or jealousy. But for those women out there who have been struggling for years and years to conceive I can totally understand why they feel the way they feel. Infertility takes A LOT away from your self esteem and mental well being. It is so easy to fall into the bitter, envious category and become wracked with hurt and sadness. My best advice is to keep your eye on the prize not the prize of others. God's timing is not always the same as ours. He knows your heart and He knows what you need and when you need it. If the holidays are too hard on you, take a vacation to a sunny beach and forego the crying baby, children packed holiday get together. That's absolutely what I would be doing if I was childless and struggling with infertility right now. Because putting yourself in a situation that will create anxiety or stress is no good for anyone. Give yourself a break and focus on the blessing you do have- your loving, supportive spouse. We all know men who stick by their wives through infertility treatments are angels without wings. Be thankful for what you have now and always keep the hope for what you want to have in the future.
Sending love and hugs to my fellow IFers during the holidays....
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
For My Better Half From Your Infertile Wife
If it weren't for my Hubby I truly believe I would've lost my mind long ago. I have to give him props for marrying me knowing I was infertile and it would take LOTS of money, time and IVF to have a baby with me. Not many men would sign up for that and I am thankful everyday that he is spiritually strong enough to handle it all and be a good Hubby. He really is a saint in my book. I think couples who struggle with infertility and especially those who took the trek down the IVF road have a unique connection to one another not just as husband and wife but as rock solid partners in the treacherous waters of the unknown.
He has been so supportive and so unwavering throughout our marriage and especially through our IVF journey. He NEVER ONCE complained about giving me shots before he went to work in the morning or before we went to bed at night. He was so strong during our two week wait and he has never said a negative word about our IVF ending in a chemical pregnancy. The endless hours of my crying, talking and worrying would be enough to make any sane person crazy but he has been amazing. His love, hugs, kisses, hard work, support, kind words, reassurance, faith and partnership have blessed me beyond measure.
Even though I know we are both hurt, sad and disappointed we haven't lost touch of our love for each, if anything, we are stronger now than we ever were. The other day I said to him "what if IVF never works for us?"...his reply- "Then it's not part of God's plan for us to have children"...my reply- "Do you sometimes wish you would've married someone who could give you children the conventional way?"...his reply- "I love you babe- and that love is unconditional- kids or no kids". Yes, I know, he is pretty much the best. I knew that is how he felt but these days...I need to hear the words so I can sleep at night. Within the realm of infertility is a danger zone of insecurity and self loathing and sometimes I just need the assurance that no matter what I will have my Hubby and he loves me UNCONDITIONALLY. Maybe he should "post it note" it to my night stand just so I can read it when those negative thoughts creep into my mind?
Being loved unconditionally is a new gig for me. Before Hubby came along I had never experienced unconditional love. I am thankful every second I am blessed with his love. I know Love is God's gift to us and I thank Him everyday for giving me my Hubby's unconditional love- what an awesome gift! He really is my best friend and I pray and live for the day when God blessed with us with our own bundle of joy but for now I am enjoying the blessing of amazing Hubby and his unconditional love.
Babe, if you are reading this...I love you so MUSH! :)
1 Corinthians 13:13
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
"Where The Mind Goes...The Man Follows"
Proverbs 23:7 "For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he"
Let's talk about THOUGHTS!
Today I am in my second day of being sick (chest/sinus congestion- it's just that time of year!). So I was blessed by Joyce Meyer today since I was unable to attend church with my hubby. Joyce Meyer, like I have said many times before, is just amazing. She has struggled and she has overcome many hardships within herself and her life. I feel so connected to men and women of God who have overcome and BEEN THERE rather than people who have lived a peachy keen life and have no clue what it's like to suffer and struggle.
Another of Joyce's amazing books, which I read 3 years ago, but probably need to read again, is "The Battlefield of the Mind". This is what she focused on today- the mind, our thoughts and the battlefield that exists within each of those. I believe that we can be defeated solely by our thoughts! Our minds can go to scary, deep, dark places (at least I know mine can). I am constantly keeping my thoughts in check! My struggle is with the "WHAT IF" thoughts...and of course- the WHAT IFS are always something bad or negative. I know this is the devil trying to take over my thoughts. Only through the word of God and standing in the Victory of Christ can I overcome possession of my thoughts and start thinking in the RIGHT WAY!
Ephesian 4:23-24 "let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy."
It is so easy to get caught up in THE WORLD. To lose sight of our purpose on this Earth and to forget what we are called to do as Christians. Our thoughts and soon our time become focused on material possessions, worry, conflicts, deadlines, the internet, social media networks, kids' sports, money, work, TV shows...then all of a sudden we are wracked by guilt, sadness, depression, bitterness and discontentment. Sometimes we are so busy with the world that we forget about God's promise, God's word and our Christian walk. Our thoughts are taken over by earthly distractions and soon our thoughts and our feelings are not Christ like.
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may prove for yourselves what is the good". Each day on this earth, in my opinion, is a battle. We must put on our armor as Christians and embark on the journey day in and day out. There is no easy day! At least in my world. My hubby always gives me a hard time because my mind is constantly going, my wheels always turning and I have a hard time unwinding and relaxing! I know I am this way because of my childhood- I had to always be on my toes, always on the lookout for what was coming at me next, always on the defensive and always ready for a comeback- physically or mentally. (This is another reason why I LOVE TO BLOG- it releases some of those thoughts!) Sure I can lay around in my PJs all day but I promise you my mind has been working at full speed since I opened my eyes. So for me, controlling my mind and my thoughts, is my hardest battle. I constantly have to keep my mind from going back to the past, thus bringing hurt, guilt and rejection to the forefront or going into the future and worrying about what is to come or what I want to come. I have to constantly remind myself to live in THE NOW to appreciate the blessings in my life RIGHT NOW.
I know that our struggle with infertility has certainly taken my thoughts to some crazy places. I have to bring myself back and refocus on things I CAN CONTROL because our infertility is out of my hands and completely in the hands of our CREATOR and I have to trust in His plan for our future. The mind is such a powerful tool and a complicated place. Sometimes I feel like my mind is like a misbehaving two year old who has to constantly be put in TIME OUT for acting out! At those times I am mostly thankful for Christ's mercy and forgiveness. He knows I am not perfect, He knows my flaws and He knows my thoughts before they even register to me. That being said, He knows what I need and when I need it. So I am trusting in Him to keep giving me Peace in our situation and providing strength and healing.
The battle is not over, it will never be over, but I am thankful I have the Victory of God's word and His love to WIN THE BATTLE, everyday.
Throughout her sermon, Joyce kept repeating:
"If you don't learn how to think like God thinks and speak like God speaks there is NO HOPE that you will ever having Victory in your life".
And it takes Victory to win the Battle of the Mind....I hope you get the Victory you need today and keep it for all your days to come.
Let's talk about THOUGHTS!
Today I am in my second day of being sick (chest/sinus congestion- it's just that time of year!). So I was blessed by Joyce Meyer today since I was unable to attend church with my hubby. Joyce Meyer, like I have said many times before, is just amazing. She has struggled and she has overcome many hardships within herself and her life. I feel so connected to men and women of God who have overcome and BEEN THERE rather than people who have lived a peachy keen life and have no clue what it's like to suffer and struggle.
Another of Joyce's amazing books, which I read 3 years ago, but probably need to read again, is "The Battlefield of the Mind". This is what she focused on today- the mind, our thoughts and the battlefield that exists within each of those. I believe that we can be defeated solely by our thoughts! Our minds can go to scary, deep, dark places (at least I know mine can). I am constantly keeping my thoughts in check! My struggle is with the "WHAT IF" thoughts...and of course- the WHAT IFS are always something bad or negative. I know this is the devil trying to take over my thoughts. Only through the word of God and standing in the Victory of Christ can I overcome possession of my thoughts and start thinking in the RIGHT WAY!
Ephesian 4:23-24 "let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy."
It is so easy to get caught up in THE WORLD. To lose sight of our purpose on this Earth and to forget what we are called to do as Christians. Our thoughts and soon our time become focused on material possessions, worry, conflicts, deadlines, the internet, social media networks, kids' sports, money, work, TV shows...then all of a sudden we are wracked by guilt, sadness, depression, bitterness and discontentment. Sometimes we are so busy with the world that we forget about God's promise, God's word and our Christian walk. Our thoughts are taken over by earthly distractions and soon our thoughts and our feelings are not Christ like.
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may prove for yourselves what is the good". Each day on this earth, in my opinion, is a battle. We must put on our armor as Christians and embark on the journey day in and day out. There is no easy day! At least in my world. My hubby always gives me a hard time because my mind is constantly going, my wheels always turning and I have a hard time unwinding and relaxing! I know I am this way because of my childhood- I had to always be on my toes, always on the lookout for what was coming at me next, always on the defensive and always ready for a comeback- physically or mentally. (This is another reason why I LOVE TO BLOG- it releases some of those thoughts!) Sure I can lay around in my PJs all day but I promise you my mind has been working at full speed since I opened my eyes. So for me, controlling my mind and my thoughts, is my hardest battle. I constantly have to keep my mind from going back to the past, thus bringing hurt, guilt and rejection to the forefront or going into the future and worrying about what is to come or what I want to come. I have to constantly remind myself to live in THE NOW to appreciate the blessings in my life RIGHT NOW.
I know that our struggle with infertility has certainly taken my thoughts to some crazy places. I have to bring myself back and refocus on things I CAN CONTROL because our infertility is out of my hands and completely in the hands of our CREATOR and I have to trust in His plan for our future. The mind is such a powerful tool and a complicated place. Sometimes I feel like my mind is like a misbehaving two year old who has to constantly be put in TIME OUT for acting out! At those times I am mostly thankful for Christ's mercy and forgiveness. He knows I am not perfect, He knows my flaws and He knows my thoughts before they even register to me. That being said, He knows what I need and when I need it. So I am trusting in Him to keep giving me Peace in our situation and providing strength and healing.
The battle is not over, it will never be over, but I am thankful I have the Victory of God's word and His love to WIN THE BATTLE, everyday.
Throughout her sermon, Joyce kept repeating:
"If you don't learn how to think like God thinks and speak like God speaks there is NO HOPE that you will ever having Victory in your life".
And it takes Victory to win the Battle of the Mind....I hope you get the Victory you need today and keep it for all your days to come.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Keeping the Peace
As I discussed in my last blog I started reading Joyce Meyer's book In Pursuit of Peace: 21 Ways to Conquer Anxiety, Fear and Discontentment. I knew I would be unable to set the book down when even before finishing the Introduction I was moved to tears. I want to share this paragraph with you:
"We tend to think that persons with the greatest faith are the ones who get the miracles. I'm not really sure about that, myself. We make so much out of miracles, when they happen. We think, Oh, what great faith they must have! They got a miracle. But I think the ones with the greater faith are the ones who KEEP THEIR PEACE even they don't get the miracles they wanted. I think the greater faith is in those who have to walk it out and decide to love God anyway. The people who don't get everything they're asking for, and who might not understand why, but yet continue to love and praise God, are truly trusting God. They stay in church, give their tithes and offerings, and stay full of peace. That is remarkable faith, in my opinion."
I absolutely 200% needed to hear those exact words! When you feel let down and without your miracle, it is so easy to backslide into self loathing, disappointment, envy, resentment and bitterness. Through this entire process, especially the hurtful ending, keeping my faith and being still in God's peace gave me strength even I did not know I had. And believe me, my life has been NO CAKE WALK, I have overcome mountains and persevered through many trials...but this time it was different...this time the understanding and peace were insurmountable. It was hard to think we did not get our miracle and not question why others got theirs while we are still waiting. But at the end of the day, I rested in a peace beyond understanding that can only come from our Savior.
Just like Joyce says, we did not get what we wanted and we don't understand why, but we are choosing to "walk it out" and "keep our peace". I know I have looked at others and fought back envy thinking "why did they get their miracle and we did not?". So this paragraph grabbed me by the heart strings and gave me the assurance I needed in my faith and my peace. Through this journey I know that without our faith and peace we would have been completely defeated and crushed by the end result. Not that we aren't heartbroken or sad...but in our heartbroken sadness we still walk in the victory that God gives us on a daily basis. We are not losing sight of the prize and we are still praying for our miracle to come in God's time and believing in God's plan for us.
Thank you Joyce Meyer for being so awesome and just "getting it". I am so excited about this book. I love reading books that you feel were written JUST FOR YOU! It speaks to me, it moves me, it inspires me and I hope I can take that inspiration and inspire someone else!
SO I am KEEPING THE PEACE...holding on to it for dear and seeking it out in everything I do, hope for, pray for and think about....and I hope and pray you are doing the same....
"We tend to think that persons with the greatest faith are the ones who get the miracles. I'm not really sure about that, myself. We make so much out of miracles, when they happen. We think, Oh, what great faith they must have! They got a miracle. But I think the ones with the greater faith are the ones who KEEP THEIR PEACE even they don't get the miracles they wanted. I think the greater faith is in those who have to walk it out and decide to love God anyway. The people who don't get everything they're asking for, and who might not understand why, but yet continue to love and praise God, are truly trusting God. They stay in church, give their tithes and offerings, and stay full of peace. That is remarkable faith, in my opinion."
I absolutely 200% needed to hear those exact words! When you feel let down and without your miracle, it is so easy to backslide into self loathing, disappointment, envy, resentment and bitterness. Through this entire process, especially the hurtful ending, keeping my faith and being still in God's peace gave me strength even I did not know I had. And believe me, my life has been NO CAKE WALK, I have overcome mountains and persevered through many trials...but this time it was different...this time the understanding and peace were insurmountable. It was hard to think we did not get our miracle and not question why others got theirs while we are still waiting. But at the end of the day, I rested in a peace beyond understanding that can only come from our Savior.
Just like Joyce says, we did not get what we wanted and we don't understand why, but we are choosing to "walk it out" and "keep our peace". I know I have looked at others and fought back envy thinking "why did they get their miracle and we did not?". So this paragraph grabbed me by the heart strings and gave me the assurance I needed in my faith and my peace. Through this journey I know that without our faith and peace we would have been completely defeated and crushed by the end result. Not that we aren't heartbroken or sad...but in our heartbroken sadness we still walk in the victory that God gives us on a daily basis. We are not losing sight of the prize and we are still praying for our miracle to come in God's time and believing in God's plan for us.
Thank you Joyce Meyer for being so awesome and just "getting it". I am so excited about this book. I love reading books that you feel were written JUST FOR YOU! It speaks to me, it moves me, it inspires me and I hope I can take that inspiration and inspire someone else!
SO I am KEEPING THE PEACE...holding on to it for dear and seeking it out in everything I do, hope for, pray for and think about....and I hope and pray you are doing the same....
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