Thursday, July 22, 2010

To My Best Friend

I gotta say this was hard to choose between my husband and my sister! I know I am a total nerd because I don't have a best girlfriend but to be honest with you...though I have girlfriends who have been my friends since I was 6 and many other great friends who I life has been such a roller coaster that I always felt like a burden on friends to be too close to them because I come with a lot of baggage and a lot of opinions! It's best to stick with family as a best friend because they are way more understanding and forgiving than a BFF would be and let's face it- that's what it takes to be BFF with me!

Dear my big sister Shelby,

I know this is lame- my big sister- is my best friend? But as we always discuss...who needs a BF when you have a SISTER? Oh my where to start...first of all thank you...for practically raising me from age 10 and doing it with love and sometimes tough love (much needed). I have learned so much from you about perseverance, kindness, grace and being a mom. It amazes me how alike and how different we are. Growing up in the same dysfunctional home we both took our own paths of self discovery to somehow take a negative start and turn it into a positive ending. Truly, I am amazed that we have both a) graduated from college, b) don't have any kind of addiction we battle on a daily, c) are awesome moms and d) are still on speaking terms after all the cat fights under our belt!

I know having me as a little sister has been challenging at times and down right heartbreaking! I cannot imagine! Watching me go through my first heartbreak at age 17, become a single mother at age 20, and suffer through an abuse relationship for 6 years- I am not sure how you did it? And kept our friendship in tact. I know it had to be so extremely hard. Though we had our occasional screaming fights...and when we younger- fist fights- I am blessed by our sisterhood and friendship.

I love you for drawing the line and finally saying to me "I do not want to hear you complain about how he treats you, ask me for help or come to me with black eyes until you are ready to leave him- FOR GOOD!". Thank you! I truly believe it was your solid stance against the relationship and love for me and my kids that finally pulled me out of that horrible miserable marriage I had no business being in in the first place! If I did not have you in my life I think I would quite possibly still be trying to change someone who will never change, letting him beat me and belittle me in front of our children, I could even be dead at this point. Not only did you give me your couch to sleep on throughout my high school years but most importantly you gave my kids and I a place to lay our heads for two months while we were essentially homeless and had nothing! When I finally had enough and decided to leave- I have to admit that sleeping on a twin mattress in the floor of your game room was the most peaceful sleep I had gotten in 6 years! At that point I realized how blessed I was to have family that could give my children and I a safe place to go...and my heart broke at the I thought about all women who did not have that safe place to go and take their children (but that's a whole other blog).

You taught me tremendously about ACCOUNTABILITY! Loving someone means putting them in their place when they need it, not making excuses for them, and always always being honest with them! Thank you for never making excuses for me and always expecting the absolute best out of me!

Thank you for being the best Aunt and Kindergarten teacher to my children and teaching them both about making "good choices"! Oh and for introducing Mady to Michael Buble! She will love him forever! My kids adore you and I am so blessed that they can go to your house and feel loved and safe! If anything ever happen to me I would certainly hope you would fight tooth and nail to be a big part in my children's life because they love you dearly!

Another thing you have taught me about is GENEROSITY! Sis I will never ever forget when you paid me $250 a month to clean your house so I could buy a car that I desperately needed and make my car payment while I was finishing up my last year of college and had no support from my husband. Not to mention letting me live with you when I was a teenager- that could not have been easy! And always helping me with my kids- whether it was babysitting or buying them something they needed- when I was a single mom and needed help the most you were always there without me even having to ask! You would always say "God has blessed us and we want to bless you". Every chance I get I try to bless others and remember what you said to me!

Thank you for just GETTING IT! For standing by me and understanding decisions I made to make my life better and more peaceful! If it weren't for our countless Dr. Phil sessions I don't think I could have separated myself from toxic family that had only caused me pain and heartache. You gave me courage and a strong foundation to make huge strides in personal growth in the last two years. I love that I am not alone in this world- there is also another person here that has been through IT ALL with me and can relate to all the ins and outs of the good, bad and ugly of our past and our present. I cannot imagine living this life without you and I hope I never have to- you truly are my rock!

Thank you for letting me be such a big part of your boys' lives! I love them so much! They are growing up to be such upstanding young men and I am very proud of them! From changing their diapers to cheering them on in sports and band- I am blessed to be their aunt Madeashley! Everyone needs a little crazy in their lives and I am glad to provide them with just that (and a little love too)! They know I got their back if they ever need to put the smack down!

From letting me sleep in bed with you when we little, taking showers together because I was scared to do anything by myself to giving me a place to live with my children when I was escaping an abusive are my best friend! I love our talks and I love how we always see things the same and if we don't we agree to disagree and move on!

Much love to my best friend and Sister,

Ashley B

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