Friday, March 02, 2007
I OVERCAME Current mood: thankful
"He who overcomes.... (REV 21:7)"- a verse from the Bible that gently rings through my ears each and every time that I step back from my life and see how wonderful, fulfilled, peaceful and full of love it is! After all the heartache, betrayal, abuse, lies, and let downs- look at the life I now have! It seems almost like a dream but then I remember- I overcame! I got through it- I made it out- I was broken and maybe a part of me always will be- but I am stronger now than I have ever been in my life. Looking back I finally understand that all the mistakes I made, all the times I went back, all the abuse I endured- was for a reason. Each and every decision and the outcome- brought me here- right here at this very point that I am at in my life. It is funny how God brings certain people in your life and it leads you to love......it's crazy how things work out!
My kids are finally seeing what it is like for two people to love one another and laugh together! My son is 7 years old and he has never seen that- how sad! My daughter is so in love with Dustin Bryant- she thinks he is her boyfriend too! LOL! The two of them love him- they love going to the "love shack" and if they don't see him for a night- they are asking for him to come over! I've never seen them be so excited to be around any man- I'm still not sure how to react to it all- I just know I am blessed and I am happy- truly, genuinely happy for the first time in my adult life!
I am so glad I finally let go of all the anger and hurt- because as soon as I made the resolution to do so- God brought me my missing link! He is the only one who has been able to break down my walls and dig deep enough to see me- the real me- for all my flaws, shortcomings, my fears and the love that exists within me. I have always been so guarded, I built a huge brick wall around my heart and never allowed anyone to love the real me, see the real me- it was a way to protect myself- if they hurt me- they were not hurting the real me- so I was safe! But letting go of that fear has been a liberating experience! I can be honest- for once- I can say how I really feel- and he listens and he understands- who knew I could that? Certainly not me! But it takes that kind of respect and love to bring that out in a person......and I am so thankful to have that! To finally have that person that I can be myself with- crazy, wild, goofy, happy, excited, nerdy, silly- and all the other complex, complicated, simple aspects of myself- he embraces all of it- I can just BE- BE WHO I AM- BE STILL and know that he is there- no matter what! He completes my family- he is the missing link that brings it all together! Funny thing is- I never felt like anything was missing- until he began spending time with the kids and I- and I saw how much better it is with him in our lives! He fits so well with us.....and it makes me so thankful for everything I went through in the past- because all of it brought me here! I finally understand- I see the full circle of things and it makes me feel soooo very BLESSED! So my advice to anyone out there that is hurting, not happy with their life or in a bad relationship- just remember- God lets us suffer so when we finally overcome the bad- we will truly appreciate all the blessings and good things in our life!!!
I OVERCAME Current mood: thankful
"He who overcomes.... (REV 21:7)"- a verse from the Bible that gently rings through my ears each and every time that I step back from my life and see how wonderful, fulfilled, peaceful and full of love it is! After all the heartache, betrayal, abuse, lies, and let downs- look at the life I now have! It seems almost like a dream but then I remember- I overcame! I got through it- I made it out- I was broken and maybe a part of me always will be- but I am stronger now than I have ever been in my life. Looking back I finally understand that all the mistakes I made, all the times I went back, all the abuse I endured- was for a reason. Each and every decision and the outcome- brought me here- right here at this very point that I am at in my life. It is funny how God brings certain people in your life and it leads you to love......it's crazy how things work out!
My kids are finally seeing what it is like for two people to love one another and laugh together! My son is 7 years old and he has never seen that- how sad! My daughter is so in love with Dustin Bryant- she thinks he is her boyfriend too! LOL! The two of them love him- they love going to the "love shack" and if they don't see him for a night- they are asking for him to come over! I've never seen them be so excited to be around any man- I'm still not sure how to react to it all- I just know I am blessed and I am happy- truly, genuinely happy for the first time in my adult life!
I am so glad I finally let go of all the anger and hurt- because as soon as I made the resolution to do so- God brought me my missing link! He is the only one who has been able to break down my walls and dig deep enough to see me- the real me- for all my flaws, shortcomings, my fears and the love that exists within me. I have always been so guarded, I built a huge brick wall around my heart and never allowed anyone to love the real me, see the real me- it was a way to protect myself- if they hurt me- they were not hurting the real me- so I was safe! But letting go of that fear has been a liberating experience! I can be honest- for once- I can say how I really feel- and he listens and he understands- who knew I could that? Certainly not me! But it takes that kind of respect and love to bring that out in a person......and I am so thankful to have that! To finally have that person that I can be myself with- crazy, wild, goofy, happy, excited, nerdy, silly- and all the other complex, complicated, simple aspects of myself- he embraces all of it- I can just BE- BE WHO I AM- BE STILL and know that he is there- no matter what! He completes my family- he is the missing link that brings it all together! Funny thing is- I never felt like anything was missing- until he began spending time with the kids and I- and I saw how much better it is with him in our lives! He fits so well with us.....and it makes me so thankful for everything I went through in the past- because all of it brought me here! I finally understand- I see the full circle of things and it makes me feel soooo very BLESSED! So my advice to anyone out there that is hurting, not happy with their life or in a bad relationship- just remember- God lets us suffer so when we finally overcome the bad- we will truly appreciate all the blessings and good things in our life!!!
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