JANUARY 30, 2007 "SICK AND TIRED"

dax at veterans day program

mady sock hop day

mady thanksgiving program

dax won two awards for 2nd grade

my sister and I with Dax- he was crown bearer

in Skiatook Wrestling Homecoming 1/30/2007

Tuesday, January 30, 2007
SICK AND TIRED (What it takes to be a REAL parent) Current mood: tired Category: Life
Being a parent involves so many aspects of life. To name the top four- spiritual, emotional, physical and financial support of your children! You cannot pick and choose which of these you want to uphold- you must uphold all of them- or guess what- you are not a good parent! BOTTOM LINE!! If you cannot make time for your children- to be there for them at important events- like watching your son be the crown bearer at homecoming- taking them to their awards banquet- taking them to their games- then GUESS WHAT- YOU ARE NOT A GOOD PARENT!!!! I am sick and tired of the b.s. and of people who think just because their check is being garnished for child support and they pick up their kids every other weekend- they are a good parent!!! NO YOU ARE NOT!!! There is so much more that comes with being a parent- like- staying home with them from work when they are sick- even though youve already used all your sick leave and you know you wont get paid- talking with their teachers on a weekly basis- inviting their friends over for playdates- playing twister until your legs and arms hurt- reading books- singing and dancing to music- praying together- playing together- cheering them on at ALL THEIR SPORTS EVENTS- taking their picture as they get their trophies- hugging them when they are sad- disciplining them when they need it- cooking together- being the parent that has the camera and the camcorder on the front row so you will have memories of your childhood to cherish- respecting their other parent even though you cant stand them- coaching their sports team- showing up to their games- teaching them to have positive attitude- teaching them to share- teaching the that family is the most important thing in this life- teaching them to forgive- sacrificing your happiness to make them happy- swallowing your pride to provide for them- smiling when you just want to cry- making life happen for them day in and day out- putting their happiness before your own-
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY- LOVING THEM EVERYDAY (which means- calling them everyday & being there for their important events)!!!
I am sick and tired of dead beat parents hurting their children- its painful to watch!!! Why have children if you do not want to be a REAL PARENT???

JANUARY 19, 2007 "FOR ALL THE SINGLE MOTHERS OUT THERE"

me & marcie- my single mom friend!

Friday, January 19, 2007
For all the Single Mothers Current mood: contemplative Category: Life
I have come to the realization that single mothers have the most thick, tough skin of anyone in this world! I know motherhood in itself makes a woman have superwoman qualities- but imagine doing it day in and day out- ALONE! No help from anyone! Imagine having children with someone who despises you and does everything in their power to make your life difficult and uses your kids to hurt- or even worse- having a child who has been adandoned by their other parent (that has happened to me before when my son was born). BUT you love your kids so you fight back retaliation and harsh words that you could say in response to being called a curse words and vulgar names in front of your children. YOU fight back getting upset when he refuses to help pay his share of medical expenses, extracurricular acitivites, birthday parties, and better yet- CHILD SUPPORT! You try not to cry in front of your children when they come home and tell you they did not have presents under the tree at their dad's house, or they lost a tooth at his house and the tooth fairy did not come- even better- he does not come get them at all and you have to see the hurt and pain in your children's eyes!
Each day you wake up to the reality that your children- the most precious things in the world to you- are depending solely upon you to show them the way in life because their other parent does know the meaning of morals or standards. No matter if you are having a bad day, you are sick- you have to be a mother first and make their life happen before you can do anything for yourself! You wake up each day and ask yourself if leaving their parent to get out of an abuse marriage was so right then why is it so hard? When will things start to turn around and when will your children not have to be hurt by this person anymore?
Being at home with my kids all week- day and night- made me realize- I am doing this- and I am doing a good job! Did their father call one time this week and ask to take to lunch (he works in Skiatook) or help me out (knowing I had been cooped up in the house all day with them)- Of course not!!! All he thinks about is himself- he is allowed that luxury- because I am the most selfless person in this world and sacrifice my very being for my children to have what they need and for them to be happy! I know what is right- and that is putting my kids first and foremost in my life- who else is going to do that? No one!
From day one- when I had my son at 20- he was born 2 months early- I was all alone- his dad was not around- I was at NICU from 8 in the morning until midnight- making sure he was okay- I had just had a c-section and it was freezing cold outside and I would walk from the parking lot in BFE to the hospital in so much pain- but knew he needed me- I was the only one- he was and still is my miracle baby and my world! And I hate the fact that someday he will have to know the truth- that his father was not there when he born, did not come to the hospital- did not even see his precious face until he was a year old! It breaks my heart that he will to feel the pain and rejection that I felt that entire year! My daughter will also know the truth that her dad was not there for her when she was born either! Sometimes I wonder why I put so much effort into someone who put so little effort into us? THEN I realize- my life is not over- I got a new start- I got away- I can show my children what love really is- happiness and goodness- and they deserve that! Thank GOD my children have me because my number one job on this earth is to make sure they have a good life- despite who their father is- their mother is awesome and will do her best to provide for them, love them, nurture them, be there for them, take care of them when their hurt or sick and show them how to be a good person!
So for anyone who would ever think about messing with a single mother- and believe me- what I mentioned in the above blog- is only the tip of the iceberg to the mess I have been through- I would think twce- you might just unleash a lion!!!

JANUARY 8, 2007 "AFTER THE STORM"

Monday, January 08, 2007
After the Storm..... Current mood: pleased Category: Life
So as you all know I bought my first home as a single woman in August. THe house was built in 1952 and along with buying an older home comes older buildings- otherwise known as "sheds". My house sits on an acre and I have 3 sheds that really are on their last leg!!! So after the recents snow storms in DEcember- 2 of 3 of the roofs caved in on these things....and well it is pretty much a mess!! SO Today I just got sick of it and was like "okay it is a new year- 2007- time to clean up messes in my personal life and on my property!". So me, my bare hands and a hammer, hit, tore, pulled, moved and cleared out those 2 buildings- ALL BY MYSELF!!! No work gloves, no fancy tools, no machines or powered saws- just me, my anger, my stress and my woman power- and of course- the hammer and we got the job done! I was so proud that I had to call my best friend T is for Tanya to come see the finished product- she was impressed!! It was so theurapetic!! I have been saying for months that I needed a punching bag but this was far more better- because I was making progress on my yard and that felt good! IT felt good to let it out- it felt good to do something I thought only a man could do- it felt good that every 5 minutes my daughter would stop and say "man mom you are strong"- it felt good that I was showing her that I can do it all- I felt like superwoman!! So I am glad for the storm- glad that I have a project to get my mind off my ocean of stress and worries and mostly I am glad that I can do so many things on my own and without the help of a man- it feels good to clean things up after the storm! 2007 is going to be a great year!!!

JANUARY 3, 2007 "I DID IT AGAIN"

Wednesday, January 03, 2007
I did it again!!! Current mood: excited
For the regular readers of my famous blog you might remember a few months ago when I posted the blog about being so proud of my single, independent self for putting up a trampoline by myself- well I have to share YET ANOTHER proud single mother moment with all my blog admirers!!!
My daughter's bunk bed has been sitting in her room in pieces for the last two months!
SO tonight I set out on the bunk bed challenge and I am proud to say I had it all put together in less than an hour- using only my two hands! I swear the woman power just consumes me and radiates from my presence!
Even though I do not really promote nor believe in New Year's Resolutions- because let's face it- we all need to be happy with who we are and where we are at right now- the changing of a date cannot miraculously make our problems go away or our butts get any skinnier but I will admit that when I adopted the motto- "New Year- New ME" because I have been through a very rough year! So with that motto in my mind- I took a look at my daughter's bed and my new set of tools- and thought- to heck with waiting on some man or boy to come over and help me! I can do this myself! Geez....I already gave birth to and am raising two awesome children on my own- what could be harder than that?
So with 2007 ahead of me and the frame of mind that I can do anything within my power-I know this year is going to be the best yet!