Remembering to "STEP"

Sundays...oh how I love Sundays...we are blessed beyond measure to be a part of an awesome body of believers. Today's sermon who absolutely amazing in every way. I felt like our pastor was speaking God's word directly to me and for me. Of course I cried through the entire service. God always gives us what we need exactly when we need it and today I needed to hear exactly what Russell was called to say. I love it when God speaks to us through men called to serve God. It reminds that I am exactly where I need to be worshiping in the house of the Lord with my family.

(Pic of Hubby and I and our first dance as a married couple. We are embracing our "life dance" even if the steps are painful right now)

He used the analogy of learning how to dance comparing it to our walk with God. His wife taught him how to two step and she would kindly remind him to "step" at the right time. Our walk as Christians is much the same. He preached about the Beatitudes in Matthew and how each one requires us to remember to "step" and dance with God through the good times and the bad times. Whether we are poor, sorrowful, hungry or persecuted our dance is the same and God is ALWAYS with us reminding us to "step". The key is to listen to Him and believe in his plan no matter where it takes you.

The beatitudes in Matthew are:

• The poor in spirit; theirs is the kingdom in Heaven.
• Mourners; they will be comforted.
• Those that hunger and thirst after righteousness; they will be filled.
• Those persecuted for seeking righteousness. The text says that theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I certainly feel like I am hungry and I am in mourning. I can 100% relate to those beatitudes RIGHT NOW in my life. As much I as I want to give up, be defeated, be angry and just break down I know that I have to KEEP DANCING because God is there with me reminding me to "step" and I will keep stepping and keep believing in God's plan for my life.

I appreciate all the hugs and encouragement from my fellow church family today. Sometimes I feel like a little kid who has fallen down and scraped their knee...you know how everyone says if you don't react to a hurt child they will brush it off and keep on playing but if you coming running to their rescue to give them comfort or attention they will start crying...well I feel that way. I am certainly hurt and when people hug me or talk to me about it- I AM GOING TO CRY! But regardless it gives me comfort and I thoroughly appreciate it. The emails, the messages, the cards, the hugs and the kind words...mean so much to me. There is no way I can thank each of you enough for praying for us and being there for us through everything. I am truly humbled by the outpouring of love during this process and now during our sorrow.

I don't know how long it is going to take me to heal from this...maybe I never will...maybe I will always be scarred in some way from it. I know I am looking forward to the day when I don't cry 5-10 times a day. The wound is fresh right now and I know as I have learned from many wounds from the past- time will heal this one too. The road is certainly easier because I am believer and I know God is near me and I know He loves me and He has a bigger plan for me even if I don't understand right now. I honestly don't know how anyone goes through this process without God in their life. It could certainly turn someone into a bitter, hateful, self loathing individual and that would be a tragedy.

If you are one of my IVF followers and you don't know Christ Jesus as your Savior I encourage you to open your heart to Him because He already loves you, knows you and is sitting with you in your grief and sorrow. He hears your prayers and He will never forsake you. I can attest that in my past He brought to roads I felt were unbearable and I knew if I made it out alive it would be by the grace of God...and I did make it out alive and not only that but it made me a stronger and better person. So do not give up hope...no matter what you are going through...keep dancing and listening to God's reminder to "step". I believe that eventually your steps will take you exactly where your heart desires and where God wants you to be! This happen to me when God gave me my two children and when He brought me to my husband and I know it will happen again when we bring our own child into this world. I just have to keep dancing and keep believing!

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18