Just call me the Easter Bunny

First of all let me just say- God is Good- He is so good to us- all the time- even when we are at the lowest of lows or highest of highs He is there listening to our prayers and giving us what we need!

We've been in Vegas since Sunday but it feels like forever. We have been so busy! My mom and I have taken in lots of sights, shops, scenery & places! Vegas is an amazing place! The Venetian was breathtaking, Ceasars Palace amazing, Was Musuems tons of fun, The Mirage awesome, Planet Hollywood very cool (see pic of mom and I at PH), we got to meet Chumlee today at Pawn Stars & all the scenery & sights have been awesomely amazingly cool! We are having a great time and I am so glad my mom is here with me until Hubby and the in laws get here Thursday.

My first Dr. appointment with Dr. Sher was Monday morning. Mom and I got lost on the way to the Dr. office and we were twenty minutes late but it somewhat took the edge off the worry about the results. My ultrasound went great (see pic of the wonderful vaginal ultrasound device- not my first & I'm sure it won't be my last- but just had to share). I had 14 Follicles on the right and 13 on the left. Let me just stop here and review these numbers. Okay as I have said before, I am doing the MICRO IVF, not full blown IVF, so that means my dosage for stimulation meds were half what they normally give an IVF patient. Most IVF patients are told to expect a low number of Follices and eggs because of the low stim protocol. I was expecting to hear I had 5- 10 Follices NOT 27! WOW! Dr. Sher said he was amazed with my progress and told my mom she should be very proud of her fertile daughter!

I was on cloud 9 when we left the office. I understand the road is still long, we still have to do retrieval, pray for the eggs & sperm to fertilize beautiful embryos, do the egg transfer, then wait to see if the embryos "took" or not. Just the fact that we will have so many good eggs to choose from I know for sure we will have those two perfect "embies" to put in and that makes me happy! It evens the playing field and give me a peace a mind about everything.

I went back today and all the Follices had grown to the perfect size for my trigger shot tonight! I had to do all 3 of my normal stim shots this morning- that was rough- at one point then needle actually bounced off my skin when mom tried to stick me! I am so sore! But we did it! I am so looking forward to a few days off from the shots! The trigger shot will make the Follices release eggs in time for the egg retrieval- we do that shot at 11:30 tonight on the DOT! My lining looks good and everything was as Dr. Sher said "perfecto". He thinks we will get 24 good eggs. Egg Retrieval will be Thursday at 11 am and Hubby's flight lands at 8:55 so we will be going straight from the airport to the dr. office for him to give his SUPER SPERM deposit to fertilize those eggs! How romantic right?
The highlight of Dr. visit was Dr. Sher calling me the "Easter Bunny" because I have made so many eggs as a Micro IVF patient.

The reality is sinking in that I might very well be pregnant with twins this time next month. Even though most people would be scared to death. Honestly I will feel so very blessed that God has allowed me to have not just ONE but TWO babies with the man that I love so much! I spent so many years in misery that now I cherish every moment I have with my hubby, the kiddos and hopefully our soon to be baby(s).

I am so thankful God has let me maintain my FERTILE MERTILE title after all these years and at 31 I am still healthy as ever "down there". I know He is 100% in control of this journey and He has heard my prayers, my family's prayers, my friends prayers, my church family's prayers and I am sure the prayers of people who just know us and what we are going through. I am so humbled by the outpouring of support, prayers and love by everyone! It has been amazing!

Keep up the awesome prayers all my prayer warrior friends & family! THEY ARE WORKING! God is amazing and He is allowing us to have this miracle!

Las Vegas...Baby!

Yesterday was very eventful and emotional. I cried on the way to the airport and when I said goodbye to the kids & Hubby. I will miss them so much! Hubby will be here Thursday but the kids I won't see for 10 days and that really hurts my heart. But I know in the end all the sacrifice will be worth it. I wrote the kids a note for each day I am gone and on the way to the airport mady was fervently writing me notes too! It was so sweet! Both of the kids cried...that was hard. But they are excited about the possibility of having a baby brother and sister so I know they will be fine. I am praying the time with their dad is peaceful and nourishing. Pray Pray Pray. It's in God's hands and He will take care of them! I am soooo thankful my sister will be taking them to school each day and they will shuttle to her after school and be with her until their dad gets off work. My sister is a heaven sent lifesaver in so many ways. So glad their dad was agreeable to let her help while I am gone. Thank you Lord for allowing that to all work out.

Mom and I had quite an adventure traveling from Tulsa to Las Vegas yesterday. We arrived right on time in Vegas at 1:45 but subsequently did not get to our hotel until nearly 5:00. Our little rental car- a Kia Rio- got lots of action as we drove around aimlessly trying to find our hotel. I was not on my A GAME and did not print out driving directions from the airport to our hotel, I mapped it on my phone and it took us to the wrong place. My phone went dead so I used my mom's 1990s cell phone to call the hotel- it was the wrong Station Hotel- I couldn't tell (because the lady spoke broken English lol) until after the 2nd call of wrong directions that it was Boulder Station I was calling and not Palace Station! When I finally got the right number and directions mom pulls into a "Hooker Motel" to go over the directions and I thought we were going to get shot. It was so funny when we got the next light we started laughing so hard we were crying!

BUT when we finally got settled into the hotel I was very pleased. The room is nice with a 60" inch flat screen (priorities ya know). The hotel has IT ALL! Starbucks, 5 restaurants, buffets, cafes, gambling & slots. It's a good thing I am NOT a gambler or I would be in serious T-Rouble! The beds are AMAZING nice & comfy (I was very worried about this because our bed at home ROCKS and I was afraid I would not be able to sleep in anything less than my "cloud"). I had a great nights rest. Mom and I are obviously still on Central Standard Time because we were up and at 'em by 5:00 am Vegas Time! Wow! (see pic- my home for the next 10 days!)

I am so excited, anxious, nervous about my first appointment today. They will do blood work to see where my E2 levels are and they will do an ultrasound to see how my Follices are growing. I am praying praying praying so hard that all is well and growing on time looking nice & fertile! We are shooting for Egg Retrieval on Friday then a 5 day transfer for Egg Transfer on the 17th (our 3 year anniversary). So far God has truly blessed us with good results and I trust that He will continue to do so. I am walking in faith and peace that everything will fall into place according to His will. I am truly so blessed. I have two healthy amazing children and a husband, family & friends who love & support me in all do. I am staying focused on all things good and wholesome no matter what results I get. I know I am blessed. THANK YOU everyone who has and will continue to pray for us. I am so humbled by the outreach of support and prayers from friends, family & just people I know from the Took. You all are amazing thank you for sharing your own stories it means so much to me- there are not words!

I am truly excited to meet Dr. Sher today. He is a genius and pioneer in the IVF field and to be his patient is an absolute privilege! I know his hands and work are blessed from God and He is a believer. That gives me understanding beyond measure throughout this entire process. I know I am in the best hands and care.

On a fun note- mom and I are headed out on the town after my appointment. Going to Pawn Stars to try to get an autograph for all the kids back home! Then off to the strip to take in the excitement and sights!

One last thing...I GAVE MYSELF MY SHOT THIS MORNING! Yes it was little one but hey that's making huge strides for me! My mom did a great job last night with my other two shots! I am so glad she is here with me!

Farewell to my dear bobbing ponytail!

Tonight is the start of my BIG STIM MEDS! Gonal-F...the meds that will kick my Follices into overdrive and make my eggs grow grow grow!

I got an email from my Dr.'s nurse today just going over a few last minute details with me about starting the Gonal-F. I was so and I mean so disappointed and bummed out when she said that I "could not exercise vigorously, meaning nothing that makes your ponytail bob". Since my Ovaries will be growing they want me to take it easy (hello I am a mom take it easy is not in my vocabulary). I knew that the day after Egg Retrieval and Egg Transfer I would have to have some down time- but I figured I would probably FEEL like being down! I was not ready to start this "down time" before I even got to Vegas! I went out of my way to book a hotel that has a full workout facility so I could run while I was in Vegas. I guess maybe I can slowly walk on the treadmill instead of run...even though I loathe walking for exercise!

So this a farewell blog to my bobbing ponytail who has seen more action in the last two months than it had in the last two years! It's been fun BP but its time for a break so I can make some Bryant Baby Eggs! But I will be seeing you hopefully again in 3 weeks or so!

As a bid goodbye today to my running bobbing ponytail...I got in one last run- I ran the entire 3 miles without stopping! I felt like a rock star! I wonder how long it will be before I can do that again? I am keeping positive thoughts at the forefront...and bidding goodbye to my lovely BP for a month at most! Hey- pregnant women can run too ya know!


I had to take a picture of my ponytail when I got back from my run...isn't it lovely? I will you miss you BP!

A Very Happy Halloween

This year our Halloween was packed full of fun, family, friends, spook houses & parties! We had a blast as a family with lots of people we love! I am truly blessed to be part of such an awesome family and I am thankful everyday that God gave me my Hubby and his family- they are amazing in every single way and I love them so much!

Hubby and I figured that this year would (hopefully) be the only year we could make light of our infertility so we decided for his family Halloween party to be Super Sperm (because he does have super sperm) and a Fertility Doctor. They actually had the Super Sperm costume at the Halloween store- it was perfect! We had a blast that night and he won the "Most Original Costume" award! I was on the second day of my injections so although I was tired and a little out of sorts I still had fun and was glad to get together with our family and friends!

On Halloween night my Hubby's family did their annual spook house at his cousins house and Dax was super excited to be able to be one of the spookers (along with my hubby, father in law and brother in law)! The guys worked all day getting the spook house set up. It was awesome and there were thousands of people that went through it! The kids had so much fun!











I am going to miss the days when they are too old for trick or treating! We have so much fun dressing up and getting ready. Hopefully by that time we have a little one to get all dresed up- what fun that will be!

End of the Football Season

Mady cheered at her last regular season Saturday and Daxon's team finished their season. Because of his broken arm he was not able to play- he was very disappointed about that fact! Poor Little Guy!

It seems that every year the cheer and football season that we look forward to all summer comes and goes in a flash! I have decided that my kids are growing up too fast and I wish I could pause this time with them. It is such an awesome time and their ages are perfect. They don't have drama in their lives with friends, dating or school and they still love being with their momma! Mady has just started the beginning stages of wanting to stay the night with her BFF every weekend. That has been hard for me because I hate giving up anytime extra time with them since they go to their dads every other weekend.

All in all this season has been adventurous. Mady was on a huge cheer squad with 20+ girls but they did an amazing job and the girls all worked so well together. Although Daxon's team did not win any games he still LOVES football and is looking forward to next year. He played receiver for the first time this year and he is still learning that position but has a great attitude and I am super proud of him!

So ending the season I have to say I am super proud of my little Bulldogs! Love them sooo much!

Horrific CRAMPS with a side of HOT FLASHES

Okay all you guys- close your eyes if you don't like hearing about the ugly truths pertaining to Menstrual Cycles!

So my RE put me on birth control in September to control my cycles and time it perfect for my IVF. I skipped my period that should have came the first week of October because they have you stay on the active pills until they are ready for Aunt Flow to come visit. Well my last BCP was Tuesday evening. On my IVF calendar it said to expect my period on Thursday or Friday so I was thrilled when it came right on time Thursday evening. No big deal just some spotting, then medium flow Friday, some cramping started Friday evening but at 4 this morning OH MY DEAR AUNT MOLLY the cramping was UNREAL! Seriously I thought I was going to throw up the pain was so intense!

I woke my hubby at 4 am and he made me a make shift heat pad by heating up a hand towel and putting it in plastic bag. We repeated this process every 15 minutes until he left for work at 6 am. I finally went to sleep at 6:30 and was relieved beyond all relief when I woke up at 9:00 am pain free!

WOWZER! I cannot get over how intense the cramping was. I thought I was probably passing blood clots but they have yet to be found. I have no idea what the pain was all about but a little warning or notice would have been nice so I could have at least invested in some Pamprin or Midol beforehand.

To make matters worse- I wanted to stay warm because the cold only make the cramping worse and I was having HOT FLASHES at the same time so I just stayed covered up sweating my life away. I hope this was the worst of Aunt Flow and I also hope this is the last of her I have to see for another 10 months!

I keep reminding myself this will all pay off in the end and how blessed I am to be able to afford and go through this process! I am sure God thought I was dying this morning when He heard the prayers coming from me! ;) Thanks for giving me relief...not sure I could handle that kind of pain all day long!

One Week In

Here I am...one week in...on fertility meds. Quite honestly I am surprised I have not transformed into a mad woman but there have certainly been side effects I am not fond of. I have also stopped using the birth control pill as of Tuesday (which did cause some major mood swings) and Aunt Flow has come to visit me. She hasn't been to town since August because of the BCP so it's not been a fun last few days. I am ready for her to leave! Thanks!

So let's talk meds and side effects.

Dexamethasone: my daily steroid I take in the morning. Bloating, cravings and sleeplessness are the main side effects. I have had a little all of three but nothing major. I have had two sleepless nights. I think my cravings might be caused mainly by Aunt Flow. But I am determined to continue my weight loss so I am keeping all that eating under control!

Lupron: my morning injection of hormones. YES I do get hot flashes and I feel dry and thirsty pretty much 24/7. At church last Sunday I was in hot flash city, thankfully the Bulletin program came in handy and was my fan all during church and lunch. A friend of mine and her mom were actually chuckling at me during lunch because they knew what I was going through. I am doing my best not to become a sweat ball so this nice cool Fall weather is very welcomed at my house! I have been increasingly tired and I feel like by 5:00 I have HIT THE WALL for the day and the couch is calling my name! But usually my workout curves most of this.

I still cannot give myself my shots but Hubby has been a TOTAL TROOPER and gives me my shot every morning before he goes to work. We've gotten over any little bumps and he is confident and a shot giving pro now! I am super thankful and proud of him! I love him dearly!

Amidst the hormones, hot sweats & tiredness my son broke his arm Tuesday at school. I was very proud that I did not have an emotional break down. But I have to admit after 4 hours at the hospital going through xrays and waiting to get a cast, that doctors office was getting smaller and smaller and the bickering back and forth between my two children was quickly wearing thin on my patience. Thankfully their dad showed up the last half hour for the casting and the kids starting behaving better. Whew! Never thought I'd be glad to see my ex husband but that day...I WAS! Dax chose a PINK cast for Breast Cancer Awareness...that made me super proud! I have awesome kids!

I got up at 5:30 this morning and drove to Owasso to get my E2 Level blood work done. I was back by 6:45 and the kids got home from their overnight visit with their dad at 7:00. So I am patiently waiting the results of that STAT lab work and hoping for good numbers. I am not sure what it means if the numbers are not good and I hope I don't have to find out. But things seem to be rocking along quite normally and for that I am entirely grateful. My prayers have daily been focused on asking for God's will in this entire situation. It really calms me knowing He is in control and His will be done in this no matter what the outcome.

"Acting a FOOL!"

So today is DAY ONE of my meds...I started my Lupron injection and steroid this morning.

Lupron is injected using an insulin syringe into either your stomach or upper thigh. This medication suppresses your Pituitary Glands so the docs can later give you meds to manipulate your system as they want or need to. I hear that the main side effects are menopausal symptoms like hot sweats, etc. So far so good! I am still feeling normal today! Praise Jesus!

The steroid Dexamethasone is a tablet. It also suppresses. But this time my immune system. This is to ensure that when they implant the embryo(s) that my body does not reject them thinking they are a foreign invader of some kind. I am thinking this will make me feel the worse just because I will be suseptible to more ailments and illness since my Immune System will be no more for a while. The main side effects are swelling, water retention, sleeplessness and night sweats. Sounds fun huh?

NOW let's talk SHOTS! Ummm....yeah....I pretty much ACTED A FOOL this morning! Thank God my mom was here visiting and pretty much had to take over and just stick me before I had a nervous breakdown right there in my kitchen with syringe in one hand and my stomach fat for the injection in the other. It was quite a sight I am certain! The chaos went on for nearly 30 minutes. I would countdown 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.....I CANT DO IT! Then I actually pricked myself a few times for practice and that made it worse! I told my mom I was scared I would slap her if she gave it to me and actually screamed a few times when she came at me with the needle. There were tears and we even got the giggles. It was just out of control.

Just the idea of sticking myself with a needle was overwhelming to me this morning! I am hoping that I get better at it because I would hate for my hubby to have to give me all my shots from here on...he leaves for work at like 5:30 so getting up that early just get shot in the stomach just does not appeal to me!

I really thought I was going to be a BIG GIRL and do this! My mom even said one time "okay if you are going to do this yourself you need to put on your BIG GIRL PANTIES and just do it!". Thankfully, because of my mom's illnesses she is well practiced in giving shots and as soon as she stuck me it was over in like one second, didn't even hurt and I felt like the biggest BABY and FOOL! Geez! I am really praying this gets better and I can overcome this fear of sticking myself because I know I have been through worse physically and done worse- I mean I have had TWO KIDS! This is nothing compared to that business!

Hoping tomorrow morning I do not act fool with the hubby...he might rethink this whole baby thing...LOL

The BIRDS and the BEES

My kids are at "that age" where you don't really want to have the birds and bees talk but they are smart enough and inquisitive enough to want to know the details of IVF...so I am stuck explaining to them in the most scientific of terms about the "sperm" meeting the "egg" in the petri dish and so forth. I suppose this is less uncomfortable than the "other version" of the birds and the bees. A questions has arose from my children, as from many other people, "what if you put in two eggs?" my response is always "then we might have twins".

I was at the school PTO "Thrills and Chills" party last night and one of my daughter's friends comes up to me and says "You might be having twins if they put in two eggs when you go to Vegas to have a baby". I had to laugh! This was so verbatim from Mady's mouth I am certain of it. The little girl was so innocent, sweet and matter of fact in the way she said it that I could think of no other reply than "you are right- I might!".

This really got me thinking that my 3rd grader was inadvertently giving our "IVF Birds and Bees" talk to her friends at school. I am not sure how some parents might feel about this and I am hoping that not all her friends think this is the only way of conception. Or that a trip to Vegas constitutes getting pregnant with twins! I can only imagine the phone calls I might receive from some inquisitive parents who do not already know about my IVF Journey and whose child comes home telling them I might been having twins if we put in two eggs when we go to Vegas!

Oh the joys of motherhood and the innocence of childhood!

My last days of "Normalcy"

I am closing in on the beginning of my fertility meds...I am looking at this week as my last week as a "normal" person (which could be debatable by some lol). I have to admit that the Hubby and I went out to eat Saturday and I enjoyed a frozen margarita because I knew it might be last for a loooong while! I have lost 11 pounds and I am still hoping to lose 10 more before I leave in 21 days. This week will be quite busy- Monday is the Fall Party at the kids' school and I have, of course, volunteered to decorate, read stories and clean up so my entire day will be packed. Tuesday I plan to get ready for a garage sale we are having at my sisters house Thursday and Friday, Wednesday I am working at the church and Thursday and Friday I am working the garage sale. So this week of having normal hormone levels will fly by, which is good thing since the Hubby will be gone again this week (thankfully his last week to work out of town).

I plan to enjoy my time with the kiddos as much as I can...I am already dreading leaving them for 11 days but I know they will be fine with their dad and having a baby is what we ALL want so we are all okay with it! I have forewarned them about the medications (see the picture- my son's reaction to the large amounts of meds is priceless) and they have promised to help me all they can and be on their best behavior throughout this process. I have such amazing kids they really are THE BEST just like My Hubby! I love love love them!

Friday I start Lupron, which is the hormone they give to women who are going into menopause. I also start a steroid called dexamethasone. I think my diet and exercise will help curve the negative side effects of both of these medications. I am a little apprehensive because my Hubby will be out of town working Friday so I will be giving myself my FIRST Lupron injection in the tummy! I am trying to get my mind right all week so I don't chicken out and have to ask for help! This is our journey and I really do not want to impose on family or friends especially while packing a syringe! SO please be praying for me Friday morning as I give myself this shot...I plan to put on my big girl panties and JUST DO IT!!!!